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Appendix - Client Reproducible Worksheets

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Compulsive Spending Quiz
Review track 1 for more information on this technique.
Client completes following questionnaire to determine dependency on shopping.

  1. Do you buy things you want, whether or not you can afford them a the moment?
  2. Do you have trouble saving money?  If you have a little extra available to put in the bank, do you tend to think of something you’d rather spend it on?
  3. Do you buy things to cheer yourself up or to reward yourself?
  4. Does more than a third of your income go to pay bills (not including mortgage or rent payments)?
  5. Do you juggle bill paying because you always seem to be living on the edge financially?  For example, do you tend to pay only the minimum balance on your credit cards?
  6. Do you tend to keep buying more favorite things—clothes, CDs, books—even if you don’t have a specific need for them?
  7. If you have to say "no" to yourself, or put off buying something you really want, do you feel intensely

Compulsive Spending Phases
Review track 2 for more information on this technique.
Client reviews following phases in order to enhance awareness of compulsive shopping session.

  1. Trigger.  This may be a one-time experience (good news or a stressful event) or accumulated feelings of anger, loneliness, or boredom.
  2. Consent.  Desire and decision merge as you quickly identify what you want and give yourself permission to get it.
  3. Action.  Often in a matter of minutes, the money has been spent.  There’s seldom enough time to think about withdrawing your consent.  This phase is usually marked by a brief euphoria.
  4. Reckoning.  The momentary high has passed and you’re overcome with feelings of guilt, shame, and self-hate.  How could you do this again?  Won’t you ever be able to control yourself?  Your partner will have a fit when he or she finds out!
  5. Letdown.  You’re right back where you started, feeling unhappy, empty, and depressed.  Not only that, but you’re now deeper in debt, and you may be afraid your partner will be disappointed and lose respect—and love—for you. 

Hoarding Questionnaire
Review track 3 for more information on this technique.
Client’s partner answers the following questions to determine if he or she has a contradicting spending personality.

  1. Does it bother you to spend money impulsively on some nonessential purchase to please yourself or a loved one?
  2. Do you go to great lengths to save even small amounts of money, no matter how much time and effort it takes? 
  3. Do you begrudge your partner almost any expenditure of money?
  4. Do you have the feeling that no matter how much you save, it will never be enough?
  5. Do you deny yourself and your loved ones expensive gifts or luxury purchases, no matter what the occasion is or how much money you have available?
  6. Do you feel happiest and most secure when you’re not spending any money at all?
  7. Do you insist on buying the most inexpensive version of something you need, even if this choice may not really be the best value in the long run.

Avoiding Communication Traps
Review track 5 for more information on this technique.
Client reviews following tips to ensure an effective discussion with his or her partner.

  1. No angry explosions.  Don’t attack in anger and exasperation with outbursts like "I can’t believe you spent that much!"
  2. No scare tactics.  Threats of imminent disaster, such as "If you keep this up, we’re going to go bankrupt" will usually bounce off of your partner.
  3. No threats or ultimatums.  Your partner already feels helpless enough against his or her compulsion.  Threats simply add more feelings of guilt and despair to an already crushing burden.
  4. No nasty accusations.  A quick way to derail your dialogue is to start calling each other names.
  5. No guilt trips or sweeping criticisms.  Don’t take an occasional oversight or a modest flaw and blow it up into earthshaking proportions.
  6. No parental platitudes.  Try not to sound like your father or mother.  Such sayings as "Do you think money grows on trees" can be demeaning.
  7. No one-upmanship.  Trying to blame the other will only turn your communication in circles.

Compiling a Money History
Review track 6 for more information on this technique.
Client writes about following memories in order to establish a history of ideas about money.

  1. Your earliest memory about money.
  2. Who spent it, and on what; and how people in your family reacted to this behavior.
  3. Who saved money, and what for; and people reacted to this behavior.
  4. Your family’s money fears, messages, philosophy and habits.
  5. What you remember about family money fights and money tensions.
  6. What you remember about the money you needed as a child, and what you did with it if you got it.  Did you get a regular allowance?  Was it ever withheld as a punishment?
  7. Any special thing you really wanted and got (or didn’t get), and how you reacted to this.

Any other emotional memories about money and spending from your developing years, from inside or outside the family.

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