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Section 6
Responses to Cancer

Question 6 | Test | Table of Contents

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In the last section, we discussed communication guidelines.  The six guidelines for communication in this section were sometimes it’s best to begin with the facts, say how you feel first, don’t cover up your feelings, avoid judgment, and offer acceptance and support, validation, and cry.

In this section, we will discuss what to do.  In my practice, I find that when a client experiences a loved one diagnosed with cancer, one of the first things he or she asks is, ‘What can I do?’  If you have a client with similar concerns, perhaps the information in this section will spark ideas to help generate a list for your client.  The actions in this section include bringing food, getting the patient involved, helping with chores, helping with out of town guests, calling and visiting, and creating laughter. 

♦ Choose Wisely
First, you might consider providing your client with guidelines regarding how to decide what to do.  Would you agree that the client’s actions can be more effective if he or she chooses ways to help that fit the client’s abilities?  The client may also benefit from asking before acting.  He or she, like Jill, can offer more than one choice. 

Jill, age 41, had a father with prostate cancer.  Jill explained to me, "I’ll give my dad some options.  I’ll tell him I’m free on Saturday and offer to run errands, pull weeds, or just visit."  After the client asks what is needed, another guideline for choosing an action is to make sure that if he or she says she is going to do it that it gets done.  Jill stated, "You have to keep your word and be reliable."

Deciding Which Action to Take - 6 Possibilities
Some of the actions in this list may be inappropriate at times.  Others may never be appropriate in a client’s specific situation.  How might you help your client decide which actions are appropriate and which are not?

♦ 1. One of the easiest things clients can do when a loved one has cancer is to bring food.  Giving ready to eat, complete meals is an excellent way to answer the question of what to do.  A variety of food can help keep things interesting.  And gift certificates to restaurants that deliver can also help.

♦ 2. A second action clients can take when they are unsure of what to do is to get their loved one involved in activities that promote giving and improve self worth.  Jill stated, "I started taking my dad to church.  He said he wanted to go so he could find a way to get plugged into volunteer work."  Think of your client.  Could his or her loved one benefit from church, charity, or school projects?

♦ 3. The third action is, you might suggest that your client help with chores.  Jill mentioned putting on snow tires, plowing the driveway, taking down Christmas lights, raking leaves, and taking down storm windows.  Jill stated, "I don’t know how it is with other people, but if I hadn’t done a lot of that stuff, it never would have gotten done."  Other simple things the client can do to help might include laundry or other household chores, caring for pets, scheduling appointments, shopping, driving children, or anything else which can be done to help.  Many clients I have treated reveal that these actions are often the most appreciated.

♦ 4. A fourth action is help with out of town guests.  Harold, age 49, stated, "I wanted to be at the hospital with my wife as much as I could.  But when her parents came to stay with me, they took hours to get ready to go see her!  A neighbor offered to drive them to the hospital.  She relieved a lot of tension for me."  As you probably know, guests impose additional burdens on families struggling with cancer.  Help can be provided by transporting, feeding, or housing visitors.

♦ 5. Fifth, you might suggest that your client call and visit.  Calling and visiting may seem like an obvious thing to do, but clients may not feel that these actions are adequate.  Jake, a 52 year old man with lung cancer, stated, "Some of my friends disappeared when I was going through treatment.  But a few of my coworkers visited each week for a few minutes.  One lady came by once a month.  We talked for hours, and I always felt better after she left.  It didn’t matter how many times people came or how long they stayed.  Every visit was special."

♦ 6. Finally, you might suggest your client work to create laughter in the life of their sick loved one.  Ways to create laughter are to memorize and tell a good joke, watch a comedy together, buy a funny book or audiotape, share funny memories, or bring a kid.  Children have a wonderful way of making people laugh. 

Think of your client.  How might the information in this section help your client think of what to do for or with their loved one with cancer?  Would playing this section in a session be beneficial?

In this section, we discussed what to do.  The actions in this section included bringing food, getting the patient involved, helping with chores, helping with out of town guests, calling and visiting, and creating laughter. 

In the next section, we will discuss providing comfort to the caregiver.  Three interventions which can help provide comfort to the caregiver include not letting the cancer patient be the focus of all conversation, encourage time outs, and avoiding interference.

When Someone You Love Has Advanced Cancer

- National Cancer Institute. (2014). When Someone You Love Has Advanced Cancer. U.S. Department of Health and Human Services.
Reviewed 2023

Peer-Reviewed Journal Article References:
Ellis, E. M., Ferrer, R. A., Taber, J. M., & Klein, W. M. P. (2018). Relationship of “don’t know” responses to cancer knowledge and belief questions with colorectal cancer screening behavior. Health Psychology, 37(4), 394–398.

Isaacowitz, D. M., & Choi, Y. (2012). Looking, feeling, and doing: Are there age differences in attention, mood, and behavioral responses to skin cancer information? Health Psychology, 31(5), 650–659.

Müller, F., Tuinman, M. A., Stephenson, E., Smink, A., DeLongis, A., & Hagedoorn, M. (2018). Associations of daily partner responses with fatigue interference and relationship satisfaction in colorectal cancer patients. Health Psychology, 37(11), 1015–1024. 

Pariseau, E. M., Chevalier, L., Muriel, A. C., & Long, K. A. (2019). Parental awareness of sibling adjustment: Perspectives of parents and siblings of children with cancer. Journal of Family Psychology. Advance online publication.

QUESTION 6
What are six actions clients can try if they feel they know not what to do? To select and enter your answer go to Test.

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