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 Section 
11Psychological Helplessness
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 ♦       Realization of Abuse How 
do victims come to realize that they are being abused? With 
the exception of a few details about how victims come to realize that they are 
being abused, the professional literature is for the most part silent on the topic 
of how and why survivors of abuse by mental health professionals manage to leave 
the sticky, enmeshed relationship with their abuser. As you know, escape, particularly 
in prolonged entrapments, is a relative term. This is a phase that may continue 
for many years.
 Victimized 
people sometimes enter a state of "learned helplessness," and go through 
a series of abusive relationships in a vicious self-fulfilling prophecy of perpetual 
victimization. As you know, some victims of abuse commit suicide, or succumb to 
depression, alcoholism, or drug abuse. Many others make an active choice to fight 
or try to escape. If we draw parallels with research on battered wives the following 
ideas emerge. ♦ 3 Phases of the Abusive Relationship Far 
from the popular notion that the physically or emotionally abused woman stays 
in the abusive relationship, recent work shows that she moves through a process, 
eventually actively preparing herself to move out.
 
 Phase # 1 - The Beginning Phase
 In the beginning phase of 
the abusive relationship, the woman, unable to discriminate between positive and 
negative relationships, focuses on her partner without any regard for her own 
needs. She believes that if she tries hard enough he will change and that 
she will still achieve the ideal family that she seeks.
 
 Phase # 2 - The Middle Phase
 In the middle phaseshe remains subservient and self-effacing: She feels anxious, fearful, and 
powerless, and her self-esteem suffers, but she starts to realize that her partner 
will not change.
 
 Phase # 3 - The Final Phase
 In the final phase, realizing that the abuse will never stop, 
the woman starts to regain some control over her life, recognizes that the abuse 
is not her fault, and knows that she has to end the relationship. For some 
women, termination of the relationship ushers in a sense of freedom and liberation 
from emotional pain; Others, unable to divorce themselves from the past, spend 
enormous amounts of time sifting through past scenarios trying to find out what 
went wrong with the relationship.
 ♦      Duped and Used Survivors 
of abuse by a professional have described a variety of experiences that led to 
their gradual, or sudden, realization that they had been duped and used, and their 
determination to escape from the influence of the abusive professional.
 
 For many 
victims, this happened when they discovered that the professional was abusing 
other clients, as in the case of Mary. Covered in shame and humiliation, she was 
forced to give up her notion that she was special, the only person with whom the 
professional had this kind of involvement. She began to realize that the professional 
had not addressed the initial problem of her divorce, had misdiagnosed them.
 Dismissed by the Professional Some 
victims did not engineer their own escapes, but were dismissed by the health professional. Carolyn 
Bates describes how she tried to extricate herself from the sexual relationship 
with psychologist Dr. X by spacing out the sessions and telling him she was going 
off her birth control pills.
 
 Her awareness of his betrayal grew, and she realized 
that she was paying to provide him with sexual services. The final straw, however, 
that caused her to leave therapy, was his reaction when she called him, distraught, 
after her engagement had broken down. He invited her to his house, did not talk 
to her, but used her in the usual "brief, non-mutual, mechanical" fashion. 
As a result, she "finally allowed (herself) to see the very cold and harsh 
truth of what was happening to (her)" and terminated therapy.
 Reviewed 2023
 Peer-Reviewed Journal Article References:Breggin, P. R., & Stolzer, J. (2020). Psychological helplessness and feeling undeserving of love: Windows into suffering and healing. The Humanistic Psychologist, 48(2), 113–132.
 
 River, L. M., Borelli, J. L., Vazquez, L. C., & Smiley, P. A. (2018). Learning helplessness in the family: Maternal agency and the intergenerational transmission of depressive symptoms. Journal of Family Psychology, 32(8), 1109–1119.
 
 Soral, W., Kofta, M., & Bukowski, M. (Jul 13 , 2020).     Helplessness experience and intentional (un-)binding: Control     deprivation disrupts the implicit sense of agency. Journal of Experimental Psychology: General, No Pagination Specified.
 
 
 QUESTION 
11What are the three phases a victim may experience once she realizes 
the truth about her abuse? To select and enter your answer go to .
 
 
 
 
 
 
 
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