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Section
1 Question
1 found at the bottom of this page Introduction Our
primary intent for this home study course is to provide quality education to foster
your professional growth. The Institute has provided quality education since 1979. The purpose of the course is to assist you in increasing your knowledge regarding how to treat patients, clients, etc. dealing with controlling relationships. As each case study is given, if the concepts seem to be applicable to your situation, I encourage you to turn your CD player off and make a few notes regarding the application of the principle to your setting. However, these notes are for your purposes only and are not to be sent to the Institute. At the end of each CD track, a question will be asked. The question at the end of each track corresponds with the questions in your Answer Booklet. Merely write the correct letter on the corresponding blank line in your answer booklet. Each answer is only used once. Keep in mind there is nothing tricky or hard about these questions, they are merely intended to verify the playing of this CD set. Each of the questions that are included on this CD set, are also reprinted in your Answer Booklet. These questions are sequential and deal with the section of content that preceded it. For this reason, to facilitate the answering of each question, you might read the question from the Answer Booklet prior to listening to that CD track. By knowing what the question is ahead of time you will then know the content to listen for that contains the answer. So just a hint, after you write down the answer to a question in your Answer Booklet, read on to the next question in order to give you a “heads up” to listen for the content that contains the answer to the next question. For the purpose of brevity, most generally, I will use the term “therapists” or “mental health professional.” However, don’t let these terms deter you from applying the concepts to your situations. When you hear the word “therapists,” if your job title is social worker, psychologist, marriage and family therapist, mental health counselor, professional counselor, resident director, program assistant, etc. merely substitute the appropriate term that is the most meaningful to you. In short, don’t let my use of the term “therapists” cognitively set you off track from hearing the content because your job title is school counselor, for example. I will also use the term “client” for the purposes of brevity. However, if you deal with patients, residents, students, consumers, etc., transpose “client” for the term that is the most meaningful to you in your work setting. Regarding pronouns and gender brevity, I am in full agreement that women can be just as powerful, controlling, and manipulative as men in relationships. And, it goes without saying that, this dynamic can happen in same sex relationships as well. However, for purposes of brevity in this course, I will generally refer to the controller as being a "he" or "male," and the controlled or victim of the controlling relationship as being a "she" or "female." Keep in mind that this is for brevity and not intended to be sexist. Merely transpose in your mind, as needed, he for she or Richard for Mary as your frame of reference dictates to facilitate application of the content. On this CD set we will discuss such topics as: Disintegration of Self Image, the Instant Replay, a Cold Weather Analogy, Jekyll and Hyde Reframing, Biderman’s Brainwashing, Connecting the Dots, Urban Legends, B-A-D Questions, Rationalized Responses, Four Power Imbalance Questions, Three-Tiered Affirmations, Resistance and Repositioning, the Four R’s of Regaining Control, Low Risk and High Risk Responses, and Metaphors that Work. Now let’s get started. Have you heard the term he or she has gotten a “Great Catch?” You probably have. What are the criteria set by one of your clients for a “Great Catch?” Great looks? Tall? Short? Muscular? Small built? Athletic? Good income? Good retirement plan? When you think of this client who feels that she has gotten or perhaps has lost “The Great Catch,” ask yourself, does her feeling of having gotten the “Great Catch,” create a power imbalance in the relationship? Most importantly, does this power imbalance of the “Great Catch” lead to a controlling abusive relationship? Keep in mind I am using “she” for purposes of brevity and could easily say he or she, him or her, each time I use a feminine pronoun. According
to statistical information gathered by the battered women's National Crisis Center’s
Organization, “Within a single year, 7% of American women, or 3.9 million,
who are married or living with someone as a couple were physically abused. That's
7%. Let’s take a look at extremely controlling behavior and assess the effect it has on the recipients in two areas. There is a saying that goes, “Absolute power corrupts absolutely.” Think of a client you are currently treating who feels she has gotten her “Great Catch.” Chances are she thinks she is extremely fortunate to be in this relationship. Ask yourself, how much control does she give away and in the following two areas: Loss of Power, and Disintegration of Self-Image? 1.
Loss of Power. What form has this loss-of-power taken for a current client you are treating? Loss of decision making regarding: Finances? Pregnancy? Even how much and what food they eat? Yes, how much food she eats. Sandra, a 31 year-old divorced physical therapist, has two girls ages 9 and 10. James moved in with her over a year ago. When Sandra came into my office, she stated, “James seemed like such a godsend when he first moved in. He had a steady job and paid most of the rent. But, a few weeks after moving in, he started telling me I was a bad mother, and a failure at caring for my two girls. He then started disciplining my girls for not studying hard enough or for making too much noise. He would send them to their room without supper or not allow them to watch TV. James calls me "a wimp." I‘m so nervous that I have to take sleeping pills, just so I can sleep every night” Sandra then continued to describe how James serves-up her and her daughters’ supper and insists that they eat all they were served. Sandra stated, “I hate brussel sprouts. James would give me and my girls practically a whole plate full! I know this sounds like a little thing, but it’s humiliating to be treated like a child in front of my girls.” Clearly, Sandra’s feeling that she has gotten the “Great Catch” via someone who paid her rent has found that the price was her loss of power. So with your client, who is in an abusive-controlling relationship, make this first assessment in your mind. In what areas has your client lost her power? #2.
Disintegration of Self-image. For example, let’s say your self-image is that you’re a very-good therapist. However, in your annual written evaluation the board governing your agency rates you below average. Does your self-image as a therapist disintegrate? Probably, or maybe not. However, what if you got fired and sought several positions only to be fired because of poor ratings, would your self-image as therapist disintegrate? I can only speak for myself, but these circumstances clearly would have a major impact on me. As you know, for clients like Sandra who feel she has hooked the “Great Catch,” this same type of Disintegration of Self-image occurs as continual evaluations of below average are provided by her significant other, James. James, the “Great Catch,” disintegrated Sandra’s self-image by stating for example, “She was incompetent to discipline her girls, prepare adequate meals, and even incompetent to judge how much food she and her girls should eat.” Her self image became one of total negative energy, self-hate, and loathing. As you can imagine, Sandra doubted her ability as a housekeeper, cook, and as a lover. Sandra, like other women in abusive-controlling relationships, tended to be a traditionalist in her views of her relationship. The problem is, this buys right in to disintegration of self-image as these traditional homemaking areas are negatively evaluated by their “Great Catch.” Think back to the clients you are currently treating with relationship issues. Is this “traditional homemaker view” the basis of their self-esteem? How much value does their significant other place on your clients’ activities outside the home? I found with Sandra, activities she did outside of the home she viewed as unimportant when it came to evaluating her self worth, unless the activity outside the home was recognized as being important by James. With a client you are currently treating, what are activities her partner recognizes and validates, that contributes to her self-esteem? Do you agree with the idea that the more highly your client values their “Great Catch” or significant other, the more control they give away in the relationship? Will these two basic assessment points facilitate you in your next session with a client? With the client you've been thinking about as you've listened to this track, what will she say in her next session that indicates: #1, her level of Loss of Power in her relationship, and #2, her level of disintegration of self-image as a result of controlling-abusive behavior by her significant other? Now that you have assessed the two basics of loss of power and disintegration of self-image for your client, in the next track we will discuss two labeling tactics you might consider using to increase your client's awareness. QUESTION
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